Kane Wilder's Birth Story - Positive Birth Story - Bradley Method
Positive birth story!
Well, 2020 has almost come and gone. And may I just say, GOOD RIDDANCE! jk, kinda ;)
My word for 2020 was Bloom. While I never could've guessed all the things this year would bring, some beautiful things definitely came into being.
Including our BEAUTIFUL baby boy, Mr. Kane Wilder.
I've never met anyone who can truly articulate what labor and delivery feels like.
After all, it’s so different for everyone. And also, unless you’re going through it currently or have been through it rather recently, the memories of the intensity of childbirth begin to fade insanely quickly. Just a month has passed since my baby was born and I’m already starting to forget the details. But I think mothers from centuries past and present can all agree, childbirth is flat out HARD. Whether it’s induced, c-section, epidural, or completely unmedicated, it’s INTENSE..and also dare I say, epic as well. Yes, I said epic.
A podcast I was listening to recently spoke on the fact that society doesn’t respect the truly epic journey motherhood takes you on. I mean certainly, motherhood is hard, and it can get ugly real fast. But what if words like epic, empowering, or even providential..were used more often? I mean, you didn’t see God asking JOSEPH to carry the son of God for 9 months and then birth him in a stable...just saying.
During the 5 hours I was in labor with Kane, I prayed. Hard. It wasn't just the “Lord give me strength” prayers, all though there certainly was that. I really prayed. I prayed for my health and Kane’s, for the willpower to get me through each contraction, and the assurance that yes, in fact, I CAN do this. Looking back, there were times I felt like I had to go to another place to get through the pain. it was in that place I clung to the sure hope that God was hearing every word I so desperately uttered.
But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s rewind to the beginning of this birth story shall we?
On Thursday night, nothing was out of the ordinary. I fell asleep like always, uncomfortable(currently preggo ladies can relate am I right?!) and had given up on the hope that our sweet boy was coming anytime soon, just like any expecting mama in those last few days of pregnancy I’m sure!!
I had had lower pain in my back, a dull ache that wasn’t intense but wasn’t going away either. I figured it was just part of the ever increasing weight in my belly, and ignored it(or tried to anyway). During the day I had went on walks with Case and tried to get labor going. Baby was so low walking very much was uncomfortable, but I was so ready to meet our boy I was trying anything. Pineapple, squats, spicy food, long walks, all in the days leading up to little mans arrival. I wouldn’t try the castor oil, however, that was beyond even me. Ha!
So avast, I thought he would never come. But after tossing and turning all night, at 4:30 AM on Friday, I went to the bathroom(warning: about to get TOOOTTALLY TMI, so if you don’t like this kind of stuff, which I’m assuming you don’t mind since you are reading a BIRTH STORY after all, read on) to find blood soaking my underwear and in the toilet. Of course, being bleary eyed from the little sleep I got and still half out of it- I FREAKED. I starting yelling at my husband that he needed to call the midwife, and fast. I mean, blood is always a bad thing right? And this was a lot of it, so of course this mama bear was full on panic mode.
Luckily I have the BEST friends, who came to stay with case since it was practically the middle of the night, so we didn’t have to stir him. Daniel called the midwife and told them what was happening, and they advised us to come in. I was especially concerned because there were no contractions yet, and I was thoroughly convinced something had happened to our baby. Simply put, I was absolutely petrified. I was shaking as we got in the truck and I called my mom to update her. luckily thanks to nesting mode that week, I had everything packed and ready to go, all except the suitcase with all our clothes (face palm) but again, thanks to friends, we got it quickly after I delivered!
I prayed like crazy on the way to the hospital. At this point, contractions were beginning to start, which told me this WAS labor after all, and they were about 5 minutes apart.
When we got to the hospital and answered all the horrid COVID questions, the check in clerk pointed us to the express elevator. Only, the express elevator was broken(OF COURSE), as Daniel turned away to get help I stopped him. I was taking the stairs. I HAD to know if Kane was okay, and 4 flights of stairs were not going to stop this mama. I practically ran up those bad boys to get to the maternity ward.
Thankfully they were ready for us when we got there, and after a couple of papers to sign we were in the delivery room.
They had me put on the gown, and the midwife came in, she didn’t like the sight of all the blood in my pad, and they got me hooked up to the monitors immediately to check on baby. There was a horrible moment when all the nurses and midwife left to get whatever things in order(I have no idea honestly) and Daniel had to leave to move the truck(he couldn’t stay parked in the emergency parking) and I burst into hysterical sobbing. I really thought something was wrong, and I had no idea what was coming next. It was the most scared I’ve ever been in my life.
Once the nurses returned and got me hooked up, Kanes heartbeat came through instantly, THANK YOU GOD. And after a quick ultrasound to determine where the bleeding was coming from, they decided it was probably a tear in my cervix or somewhere, given that Kane had been so low in my pelvis and causing so much pressure for many weeks. This relieved everyone because if it had been from the placenta like they feared, I would’ve had to have an immediate c-section. Once reassured multiple times baby was fine, I was ready to get down to the business of labor.
I had read Natural Childbirth the Bradley way in the past weeks of pregnancy and was pretty sure that was the method I wanted to try and do.
The midwife who delivered Kane was the same one who delivered my first, which was such a blessing. I loved her because of her straightforwardness and always letting me know exactly what was going on. Around 7:30 AM, she told me if they broke my water now, my contractions would begin to pick up and I would be holding my baby by lunch time. After being labor for 16 hours with case, being up for over 24 hours by the time he arrived, having no sleep and not have eaten anything, this sounded like a dream. I was a little wary however, I was having an unmedicated birth, and I knew once they broke my water the pain would come quick and be more intense. I was scared and worried I couldn’t handle it. Daniel reassured me of course, and what a champ he was throughout this birth! Throughout the whole process he held my hand, rubbed my back, made sure my essential oils were being used, kept the diffuser full, and gave me sips of ice water between contractions. It was him that really got me through this birth.
Once we decided to break my water and had it done, things of course began to pick up. I was trying to stay fully relaxed like the Bradley method suggests, and this worked surprisingly well throughout labor. I even said to Daniel, “this is going a lot better than I thought it would!”
Focusing on my breathing, squeezing Daniels hands, the scent of the clary sage oil, or the Yo-Yo Ma playing in the background(YES yo-yo ma, he’s calming ok?!), or the sound of the midwifes instruction to keep breathing, ANYTHING to keep me tethered to this world, really helped in those first couple hours of contractions. I knew it was only going to get harder though, and my confidence wavered a few times, but Daniel or the midwife always brought me back to the present. There came a point when the contractions were getting closer, and it was harder to distract myself from the pain. I had the music turned off then so I could focus completely, otherwise I don’t think I could’ve made it through without screaming during the last hour of labor. I was sweating SO much. I felt like my body was on fire. The midwife put a cold cloth on my neck, and that really did wonders in between the contractions.
Changing positions also helped. NOTHING was comfortable of course, and anytime I stood the pressure in my pelvis was so unbearable I thought I might pass out. But the movement of changing positions for contractions kept me busy and made me feel like I was doing SOMETHING. But of course there’s always the fear that all the hard work you’re doing isn’t leading to anything. I had been 5 centimeters when I got there, so I knew things would probably move pretty fast anyways once the contractions picked up, and thankfully I was right.
The last couple contractions before I started pushing were definitely the hardest. I just closed my eyes, leaned over the top of the bed and thought I’d black out from the pain. Of course I didn’t, and luckily the midwife reminded me to continue my breathing, otherwise I would’ve just lost all control right there. I was in agony at the thought of going on much longer. “Surely I’m close to pushing?!” I thought continuesly, and again prayed to God that it wouldn’t go on much longer. The nurses, the midwifes, and even Daniels voice became background noise.
My body starting pushing on its own really, but once my midwife checked me and said we were ready, I really went for it. I was honestly elated at the fact that it was TIME, I was just thinking it was going to be another hour or so of that pain(yes I know, I’m such the optimist). I don’t remember exactly how many times I pushed, but I know it was only three or four times. I was in the worst pain id ever been in in my life, doing the hardest work I’d ever done, trying so hard, and suddenly, there he was. Suddenly it was over. The midwife caught him, and immediately handed him to Daniel as they got me on my back, and placed Kane on my chest. Only a mother can truly feel the relief and happiness and love that all swells inside of you during that moment. It really does feel like you performed a miracle. And I mean, come on, I had just had an unmedicated childbirth, which always makes a woman feel like a BOSS. Even though I was tired, I really did feel elated. I couldn’t believe it had only been 5 hours since we’d left the house and only an hour of true actual pain. All the contractions had been painful of course but nothing that hadn’t been manageable with the deep breathing and relaxation. I couldn’t believe it.
Our beautiful boy was here, and he was so perfect!
Even during this wretched year and everything that’s happened, I felt(feel) SO blessed.
His fuzzy little head laying on my chest in that moment was enough to make my heart burst, really. I just kept looking to my husband too. “We did it” I kept saying. Because really. I couldn’t have done it without him, or our midwife. She anticipated my every need/want and that’s something I’ll always be grateful for.
I really have nothing else to say about this birth story except that our baby boy is PERFECT. And I’m still thanking God for his health and mine as well. :)
Merry Christmas friends!
-Audra
Kane Wilder
7 pounds 2 ounces
19.5 inches
November 20th 2020
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